ADVERSITIES TO RESILIENCE

We at NuLife believe that that as a community we are all connected.

 

We have deep roots with the community and we have consistently shown that we are there for each other, providing comfort and support. We offer an array of services through which we give direction to the lost and hopeless and render professional help to those who need to take back the control they have given to others.

Since its inception, NuLife has endeavoured to tailor its services to the needs of the community, especially the disempowered and voiceless victims of abuse and neglect.  We are aware that a one-size-fits-all approach is counter-intuitive and futile.  Every case is unique, and it comes with its own cast and plot. There is no one case that is identical to another.  In fact, NuLife takes pride in knowing that as the community grows and grapples with the changing demands and pressures of modern living, we too continue to evolve as we strive to find more creative ways to tackle each case and issue.

We adopt an organic approach to handling the myriad of clients who come to us, with their host of troubles. Going by the closure and confidence many of our clients find when their journey with us ends, it appears that we are doing something right.

 

We share these stories so that you can find a ray of hope for your own story and may find the courage to take the next step to seek counsel. From the spectrum of experiences that each case embodies we give you a glimpse of the work we do. Many of these cases are closed and some remain open with the assurance that we are still here, ready and available. The value of these collective experiences is that there are lessons here that we all can learn from and find perspective on our own lives.

 

Please be assured that we maintain client confidentiality at all times.

Nulife Case Studies

Please click on below each Case IDs to read more.

The journey of the Afflicted (U Matter)

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As an individual, we strive to accomplish certain goals and dreams but are often held back by societal expectations. In a collectivistic society like the Asian society, where there is an emphasis on the needs and goals of the group as a whole over the needs and desires of each individual, it is more likely for such individuals to suppress their innermost emotions for the interests of their loved ones and for the community.

 

It is also such individuals who end up being more susceptible to a breakdown and are no longer able to cope with the stressors in their lives. NuLife had given support to an Indian National working and residing in Singapore (under work permit pass) who was placed in a predicament following her separation from her husband. Plagued by the guilt of not being able to fulfill her duties as a wife and being subjected to much criticism by her family who are traditionalists by nature, the client was left alone to battle her thoughts which had resorted to her wanting to take her own life.

 

A proactive approach was taken where emotional support was provided to the client through counselling and additional support was explored for the client by referring her to an appropriate crisis intervention centre. A support intervention focused on identifying the triggers that reduces the client’s desire to continue functioning and identifying outlets that gives a reason for the client to continue functioning was incorporated. Establishing a good support system around a vulnerable person and working together with the client during this period of ambivalence is vital to eliminate the negative feelings the client has been facing.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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There will be definitely be something along the way which we wish we could have done differently and this often manifests in the form of the complex emotion, regret. Regret on its own is not a bad thing; in fact, it can spur us to action. But for some people regret becomes something more like an albatross. Too many regrets can sometimes materialise into an overall feeling of being wrong or bad. At times regrets might paralyse us as we mourn what we could have or should have done and can’t seem to make a better decision going forward. NuLife had reached out to a client who was crippled by the decisions she had made in her life, from deciding to start a family at a young age, to seeking solace and comfort in someone else when her spouse had failed to do so and to eventually resorting to taking her own life when she could no longer handle the adversities in her life.

 

In light of the traumatic incident and the injuries sustained, both physical and emotional, it was imperative that the client was cushioned with a stable support system. This was achieved through moral support where counsellors were attached to the client to address the lingering thoughts and feelings that spurred the act of wanting to take her life. Moving forth, the client was made to identify the basic emotions that had given rise to her regrets and to reclaim the essence of her dreams in terms of the essential experiences she was not able to fully involve herself in prior. The client was enlightened on her role as a mother and as a wife and on how she should focus on the love of her family to steer her forward. With a renewed outlook towards life, the client has embraced her regrets and wishes to reach out to individuals who are stuck in a mindset similar to her past self. The client’s interests to render her service in the helping field is currently being explored to give shape to a specific profession in the helping field that the client would like to pursue in the future.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Darker than grief, an implosion of the self, a sheet of ice: no matter how one describes it, depression is a terrifying state to be trapped in. Depression often mistaken as being similar to negative feelings such as sadness and frustration is generally triggered by sudden life events. Although feelings of sadness, frustration and confusion and guilt accompany sudden life events, when these feelings linger and over time evolve into something more severe, manifesting as all-consuming and hopeless, depression emerges and interferes with aspects of everyday functioning. NuLife had extended it’s support to a working professional who was subjected to a cyclic pattern of emotional pain following the sudden demise of her husband and who was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. Unable to properly grief, the client was shouldered with the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner and meeting the expenses of the household and her two children. This had resulted in the suppression of her emotions that had unknowingly penetrated and affected her performance at her workplace and had strained the relationships with her loved ones. In turn, it had taken a toll on the client’s mental well-being, when she had felt everyone was acting distant towards her. Unable to properly think and function, NuLife had brought the client over to the nearest crisis support centre for immediate intervention. Emotional support was provided to not only the client but to her two children who were stricken with fear and helplessness upon seeing their mother’s emotional breakdown. When rapport was established and the client was more emotionally stable, the client was made to identify the type of negative thoughts that had fuelled her depression, and to adopt a more balanced way of thinking. Counselling with the children had identified the factors that had contributed to the deterioration of their relationship with their mother and techniques were taught to mend their relationship with their mother and to better manage it in light of her mental health. It is vital that the client receives the needed support from her family which in turn would motivate the client to self-heal and induce positive changes that would bring about a sense of restoration and purpose in her life.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Parenthood has been long connoted a means through which a couple can achieve fulfilment as children are considered an essential source of happiness, satisfaction and pride. However, over the years, parenthood has materialised to take on a less favourable connotation, taking into consideration the evolving nature of our society and the demands that emerge along with such developments. Even though parenthood instinctually grant parents a sense of contentment and wonder, these feelings tend to morph into unfavourable feelings such as anger, guilt, shame and anxiety as parents navigate through the initial process of parenthood. This is more so for mothers who are expected to love their children the moment they are born and attune to their needs while overcoming a spiral of emotions that accompanies after giving birth. These emotions if over time do not dwindle, may give way to postpartum depression, a persistent, serious condition characterised by feelings of sadness, worthlessness and anxiety.

 

NuLife had extended it’s arm to a first-time mother who was feeling emotionally overwhelmed following the birth of her child and adjusting to life as a working mother. Emotional support was provided to the troubled mother and had aimed at addressing the feelings associated with her postpartum depression and post-traumatic stress that revolved around unresolved childhood issues that had persisted into adulthood and taken shape after she became a mother. In addition identifying methods of coping that would help to alleviate the symptoms associated with the deterioration of her psychological health was also focused upon.

 

Adopting a conscientious approach through counselling, the client was tasked to work towards creating a secure attachment with her baby, to be accepting and lean on her loved ones for help and support and to adopt healthy practices of self-care as she gradually progresses along the path of motherhood. By addressing these aspects, counselling aimed to ultimately equip the client with a sense of purpose and hope that would enable her to rediscover the contentment that is associated with motherhood and in the long run allow her to lead an enriching life as a mother.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Love is an amalgamation of various feelings, emotions and behaviours. Our relationships with our loved ones mainly thrive from the emotional support that we receive and hence it is no surprise that we place much importance on this aspect in the formation and maintenance of relationships. Emotional support is closely connected to feeling content, safe and happy in any relationship – particularly a committed one. The reassurance we gain from our significant other validates our views and behaviour and in turn boosts our confidence and self-esteem. However, when we substitute the word support for dependency, it implies that we cannot adequately validate or soothe ourselves and are reliant on our significant other to provide us with the reassurance that we are good and important enough. When we become uncertain of our significant other’s reassurance, our love for them is supplanted by feelings of fear and uncertainty and eventually this can lead to the relationship’s degradation. This can create a ripple of effects on the emotionally dependent individual and lead them into a dangerous spiral from which it is sometimes difficult to escape.

 

NuLife had reached out to a client who was devasted by the loss of his relationship with his significant other. Unable to cope with the feelings of separation, the client who had been emotionally dependent on his significant other continued to function with preoccupations of her. This had resulted in the neglection of his wellbeing to the extent that it had taken a toll on his willingness to live. The client was armed with emotional support in the form of counselling during this period of emotional disintegration. Counselling had aimed to cultivate and habituate the client to concepts such as self-care and self-love. Utilising a progressive approach, the counsellors had first made the client identify his association with his significant other and the extent to which he is dependent upon these associations. After which, these associations and the effects it had on the client’s wellbeing were accentuated to the client. Once the client was able to come to terms with his debilitating emotional dependence, counselling had then focused on the infusion and preservation of emotional self-reliance.

 

By therapeutically re-writing his history, the client was able to acknowledge his vulnerable self and work towards building a secure and independent version of his self. In his therapeutic journey, the client was able to overcome his need to be emotionally validated by others and to lead his life in a more rewarding manner.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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All of us have an intense desire to be loved and nurtured. The need to be loved could be considered one of our most basic and fundamental needs. When we find ourselves deprived of this fundamental need through the occurrence of a spectrum of life events or situations, our thoughts tend to mull over and is often channelled through feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. When we find our emotions spiralling gradually and while we are treading to stay emotionally afloat, we eventually get the feeling that one day, inevitably, there will be nowhere for us to go but down.

 

NuLife had reached out to a single mother who was coping with a bitter separation after having had to part ways with the man she was pursuing a relationship with. It was also around that time the client found herself buried under financial troubles that threatened to invalidate her financial status and capabilities as the sole breadwinner of the household. The client found herself being pulled between two poles, one of obligation and responsibility towards the household and her only daughter, the other of longing and regret towards the failed relationship and the stress of these opposing forces threatened to rupture the emotionally afflicted client. This had caused the client to contemplate taking her life on several occasions in order to eliminate the agony she was going through. Emotional support was provided to the client through counselling sessions that addressed the factors that led to feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and outlined the various solutions the client could take to alleviate her suffering. The client in the process learned to surround herself with reasons to function in a robust manner with the welfare of her daughter determined as her primary reason.

 

However, tribulations are ongoing and even though one may believe that overcoming a single tribulation would equip them with the aptitude to withstand future tribulations, the way such tribulations occur always catches us in the moments we are least prepared for. The client had reached out to NuLife a few years later after having lost her mom to old age which had led to the downward spiral of her emotional well-being. Stricken with grief, counsellors were attached to build rapport with the client who had emotionally disassociated herself and was vulnerable to recurrent thoughts of ending her life. Counselling aimed to support the client as she traversed the stages of grief and loss and to bolster and restore the client’s sense of purpose.

 

It is critical to understand the recurring nature of thoughts revolving around death and loss and the impact such thoughts entail. As hard as we try to shun away from these thoughts, we are not immune, it is only through recognising the sensitivity of such thoughts and talking to someone about it are we then able to confront these thoughts and reshape them in a more resilient way.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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The search for love, acceptance and respect is never ending as we meander across the various stages of our life course. Given the very nature, it is of no surprise that we find ourselves being subjected to a cluster of experiences that either assist or deter us from fully attaining a sense of fulfilment and contentment from this particular search. While this search may serve to enlighten oneself in the process, it may contrarily pose to be a hazard when one loses oneself in the process. The latter occurs when we are constantly in the search and fail to receive love, acceptance and respect from those around us. Over time, we become vexed beyond our capacity, our minds scattered and we end up spiralling out of control, losing our sense of place and time and self. When we get to the very bottom of that downward spiral, we think it might be better simply “not to be” as that point, the thought of being anything at all has become unbearable.

 

Heavily burdened by her struggle to connect with other individuals, a young adult client found herself subjected to hurdles in her personal and professional life that had in turn heavily compromised her emotional well-being. Suffocated by the pressures from these hurdles, the client found herself at a crossroad and had adopted an ambivalent outlook towards life as a way of a coping. In spite of a loving and supportive family, the client found herself not being able to confide her afflictions and seeking solace from her loved ones. When the client had reached out to NuLife with her predicament, NuLife had cushioned the client with emotional support and guidance through counselling. Cultivating a person-centred approach, motivational interviewing aimed to help the client resolve ambivalent feelings and insecurities to find the internal motivation she needed to move forth with a renewed sense of hope and purpose in her life. Generating a supportive and intimate atmosphere, the client was gradually encouraged to embrace change and commitment. However, this motivation was short-lived and the client found herself being clouded by a stage of ambivalence that she no longer could seek solutions for. Plagued with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, the client succumbed to the afflictions that she could not continue holding on to.

 

The internal battle we have to overcome every day is one that everyone knows and can relate to. Whether it be fighting for a promotion at work, fighting for your loved ones or fighting an illness or addiction, it becomes a part of everyday life and can be cumbersome. We have to remember to keep going by reflecting upon and growing from these battles that will allow us to emerge stronger at the end of our tribulations.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Foreigner

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Attuned to motifs such as certainty and predictability, we gravitate towards these deterministic features as we unfold the assorted chapters of our lives in search for a sense of comfort and security. Although, the reality is that in our fast changing, unpredictable and accelerated world, we are compelled to embrace the many unknowns in order to continue sustaining. While some of us are equipped with the resources and support to overcome the uncertainties we face along the way, there remain some who are left to brace the uncertainties they face all by their own. Domestic helpers who depart from their hometowns in search for a livelihood in a foreign country are one group who are able to resonate with sailing on uncharted waters in order to meet their needs. While, they reside in another country and cater to the domestic needs of households on a temporary basis, they are vulnerable to a set of uncertainties that they are unfortunately not buffered against as a result of their status.

 

NuLife had given support to the endeavors of a domestic helper who wished to settle down with her Singaporean boyfriend after years of courtship. However, this presented a set of uncertainties the client was left to contend with amidst the lack of direction. NuLife assisted in alleviating these uncertainties by enlightening the client on the directions needed in line with her decision to settle down in Singapore. Working hand in hand with Ministry of Manpower (MOM), the client was able to gain clarity on the measures that she would need to take in order to transit from a foreigner on a work pass to a spouse on a long-term visit pass and be entitled to her rights in accordance. Furthermore, support was given to the client through premarital counselling that aimed to reaffirm her views towards marriage. Counselling enabled the client to gather a more realistic view of marriage, deepening her understanding on themes such as communication styles and needs, conflict management and core values and differences, that would ultimately allow her to conclude whether she is ready to embark on the next chapter of her life.

 

Making pivotal decisions can be challenging when we are not furnished with resources and support that would allow us to surpass the uncertainties that we might be subjected to in the decision-making process. While we work towards normalizing uncertainty, it is essential that we form a contingency plan that would allow us to pace challenges in a more efficient manner.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of Marriage

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When we find someone, we wish to spend the rest of our lives with, we cling on to certain expectations and hope that these expectations would continue to be fulfilled over the course of the marriage. However, the daily tasks of marriage can quickly disabuse some of the expectations that the couple might have formed in light of their union. As their different rhythms and preferences emerge in the course of living together, disappointment arises naturally and from the depths of such disappointment, couple resort to accusing one another for their flaws that eventually sets the stage for the breakdown of a marriage.

 

NuLife had assisted a client who had wished to part with her spouse in light of the years of unhappiness and disappointment she had been subjected to in the marriage. Before affirming client’s decision to move forth with a divorce, a mediation was conducted to better understand the factors that contributed to the breakdown of the marriage and to ascertain client and her spouse’s viewpoints towards the marriage. Ultimately, the client was convinced to file for a separation and to work on alleviating the differences with her spouse that was her source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. The separation was executed favourably through the seamless collaboration between NuLife and the law firm to which the client was referred to.

 

The client was subsequently cushioned with counselling support to address her source of disappointment revolving around her marriage and to enlighten her on the factors that would motivate her to remain in the marriage after having spent a significant portion of her life building a future together with her spouse and starting a family. However, as the differences were too deep seated, resolutions could not be sought and a mutual consensus was formed by the couple to legally dissolve their marriage. NuLife had reiteratively worked hand in hand with the law firm to ensure that the divorce proceedings were expedited on amicable and facile grounds, thereby eliminating the possible animosity, hostility and misunderstandings that could be generated in the process of seeking the divorce proceedings. NuLife had assisted in the facilitation of the ancillary proceedings by working in collaboration with an in-house property agent to sell off the matrimonial flat and do a contra and purchase a flat for the client and her children within a stipulated time period. However, the client found herself in a financial predicament in confirming the purchase of the flat as the sole breadwinner of the household, prompting NuLife to appeal to HDB to provide her with a housing loan on compassionate grounds. The loan was successfully granted to the client in light of her financial concerns, giving her the much-needed stability to re-establish her journey in the process of restoration.

 

In an ideal world, we may find ourselves forming a connection with the right one and living happily ever after. In the real world, however, couples are bound to err, change with time and the stresses and strains of everyday life can cause the gradual disintegration of the marriage unit. These occasions, while painful, do not have to be disastrous and can actually be opportunities presented for growth, reflection and experience that essentially forms a revitalising outlook towards one’s existence. We are after all surprisingly resilient, and there is truth in the adage that time heals all wounds.

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Marriages fall apart for many different reasons, but one of the most common and most challenging to overcome is the discovery that one partner has “cheated” on the other. Most affairs result from dissatisfaction with the marital relationship, fuelled by temptation and opportunity and resulting in adverse consequences when the affairs come to light. While we are aware that infidelity can have a huge impact on the betrayed spouse, that act also reverberates though all of a couple’s relationships and the most immediate of those affected are the children. As the spouses grow distant and aloof, it creates emotional distance within the family, which not only affects the couple’s relationship but also the way the relationship that they have with their children. Betrayal marks crossroads in a relationship – and having children in the mix means the potential for harm is that much greater. As a couple and as parents, the involved parties must decide whether to try to rebuild things or break up and start all over, all while protecting their children from as much fallout as possible. More often than not, betrayal leaves the affected party emotionally scarred and leaves little room for a chance of reconciliation, leading to the irreversible breakdown of the marriage. NuLife had assisted a client who was feeling dispirited after discovering that her husband was having an extra-marital affair. For the sake of her only daughter who deeply adored her father, the client had forgiven her husband and decided to move on for the sake of the family. However, unable to reform himself for the better, the client’s husband had once again “erred”, leaving the client with no choice but to end their marriage. A paired approach in the form of casework management and counselling was adopted for the client who had sought for legal assistance with regards to dissolving her marriage and who was also on the other hand emotionally afflicted with the way her life had turned out to be. The client was referred over to a legal firm and with active collaboration between the law firm and NuLife, the client was able to successfully file for a divorce. In the midst of the divorce proceedings, the client was equipped with emotional support which allowed her to overcome the uncertainties that she thought she would face following the divorce. Ultimately, the client was equipped to move forth with a renewed sense of grace and purpose as a single mother who is dedicated to the well-being of her only daughter.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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We all search for love, support and care in our relationships and if received in accordance, these forms of approval are often the key to preserving relationships in the long term. However, when we fail to receive adequate love, care and support in a relationship, over time, the relationship withers and eventually collapses. This common phenomenon also known as emotional distance or emotional drifting, develops and progresses as the relationship deteriorates, making it easy to miss until the gulf becomes significant. In particular, the emotional bond between spouses is a foundation for keeping love alive and making sure that conflicts are just challenges to face together and ways to strengthen the relationship. When spouses, habitually refrain from making physical, verbal and emotional contact with each other daily, they gradually become accustomed to being distant that over time the notion of closeness and intimacy in relationship, becomes foreign to them.

 

NuLife had extended it’s support to a Malaysian Citizen who is a permanent resident and working in Singapore. With much expectations, the client had set foot into the marriage with his wife, not taking into consideration her social background. However, over time, his wife started frequently travelling back to her hometown and residing there for long periods of time. She had leased part of the matrimonial home in her long absence which had caused the client to move out of the home and reside elsewhere. Additionally, the wife had ensured that the client directly transferred the amount received from the lease to her. Disheartened by the way his marriage had unfolded and after numerous attempts to bridge the emotional distance that had occurred in the marriage, the client had decided to address the ambiguities he faced by closing the chapter of his marriage. Unaware with how to move forth and unfamiliar with the legal proceedings in Singapore, the client had turned to NuLife for assistance.

 

A multipronged approach in the form of casework and counselling was employed for the client who was in need of legal assistance to dissolve his marriage and on the other hand in need of emotional guidance as he navigates his way back to social restoration. The client was referred over to a legal firm and with ongoing collaboration between the firm and NuLife, was able to successfully file for a divorce amidst the obstacles his wife had created to ensure that she benefits the most from the divorce. Through counselling, an avenue was provided for the client to address his queries and concerns with the divorce proceedings and to navigate his emotions and thoughts that may linger with regards to his failed marriage. As a naïve individual subjected to much adversity, it was important that the client was armed with the appropriate support and guidance that would mould him to become a more resilient and knowledgeable individual.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Most of the time we are drawn to someone who is able to complement our needs and wants, and eventually we choose to settle down with them when the time comes. However, down the road of marriage, these complements that formed the basis of attraction between spouses might be the very same that can cause a rift in the marriage. Even though when one is attracted to their spouse who they had then felt compatible with, one tends to assume that because of this compatibility, their spouse would share the same values, needs and perspectives as them which might not necessarily be and sets the cracks in a marriage. A successful relationship involves questioning one’s core needs. In a marriage, if the husband is unwilling to meet the wife’s core needs, or, if the wife is unwilling to meet the husband’s core needs, the marriage can no longer thrive.

 

NuLife had rendered it’s assistance to a struggling Malaysian citizen who was on the verge of losing his status as a permanent resident of Singapore in the process of not being able to amicably dissolve his marriage with his Singaporean wife. The client had courted his wife while working in Singapore and had gotten married in anticipation of embarking on a new chapter in his life. However, over time, the client had failed to tend to his spouse’s needs as a result of being too consumed with his work which had evoked feelings of neglect in the spouse. This had led to the spouse seeking for companionship in another man and behaving waywardly which came across as a huge blow to the client when he had discovered his wife was involved in an extramarital affair. Unable to recoup from the damages incurred, the couple had decided to dissolve their marriage in their best interests and were agreeable to attaining an equal share from the sales of their matrimonial flat. This mutual consensus was however short-lived when the wife had decided to stake a higher claim from the sales of the matrimonial flat and refused to cooperate with the divorce proceedings when the client was not agreeable to the idea. Exasperated by his wife’s actions, the client had turned to NuLife for assistance, seeking for a resolution to his predicament. NuLife had referred the client over to a law firm and a negotiation was reached that allowed the client to move forth with his divorce proceedings. At the same time, the client was equipped with emotional support through regular counselling sessions in the midst of the divorce proceedings. Counselling aimed to address the thoughts and emotions that the client had harboured from the breakdown of the marriage. The client was also made to come to terms with his contribution to the breakdown of the marriage and to reflect upon it that eventually allowed him to embrace his flaws and accept himself for who he was.

 

At the end of the day, the client was able to move forth with a sense of determination and learnt to prioritise to nurture his relationship with his loved ones.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Self-esteem, a term that is used to describe a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value, is a stable and enduring trait that has taken much precedence as one of the basic motivations that needs to be fulfilled in order for an individual to flourish. Although, self-esteem plays a significant role in the way individuals progress in their lives, the concept of self-esteem remains much grounded and influenced by external sources such as our family and friends as prevalent in collectivistic societies. As observers of our own behaviour, thoughts and feelings, we not only register these phenomena in consciousness but also let such observations be inadvertently subjected to judgement by others given that we have been ingrained from young to prioritise the views and opinions of others over our own. This leads to the development of a self-esteem that is more susceptible to fragility should the external markers of self-esteem lead to adverse effects, also known as low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often cite feeling unloved, awkward or incompetent and generally tend to perceive themselves in a negative light. They have a fragile sense of self that can be easily wounded by others.

 

NuLife had extended its support to a client who was marred by issues of low self-esteem that was further exacerbated when it had led to the breakdown of her second marriage and had undermined her daily functioning. Emotionally devastated and at a loss in the way her life had turned out to be, the client was struck with feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. The client was provided with emotional support through counselling and sessions were conducted on a regular basis to tackle the client’s presenting issues. An eclectic outlook was adopted that aimed to identify and address the sources that contributed to the client’s low self-esteem which the client felt primarily stemmed from her traits and also from the way she was treated and looked upon by her in-laws whom she felt had never accepted her. After which, counselling worked towards combating these sources by challenging the client’s negative sense of self, cultivating self-care practices that evolved around enlightening the client with self-compassion and self-respect and engaging in meaningful acts that helped to broaden the client’s view. This allowed the client to become a more grounded individual which in turn aided in the development and restoration of her self-esteem to a healthier level.

 

Feeling more resolute, the client had decided to move forth with her life with a renewed sense of purpose and had engaged the assistance of NuLife with regards to settling her matrimonial issues. Through structured casework management, the client was informed of the procedures and the estimated cost and efforts that would be involved in light of her intent to move forth from her marriage that she felt was beyond repair.  Alongside with casework management, counselling continued and had worked on reinforcing the client’s self-esteem that would equip her with the capacity to overcome this period of adversity.

 

Developing a healthy sense of self-esteem provides us with belief in our abilities and the motivation to carry them out, ultimately reaching fulfilment as we navigate life with a positive outlook.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Bred in a community that is contingent on the expectations, demands and wishes of those surrounding us, we are bound to be subjected to moments along the course of our lives, where we hold ourselves back when we should have known how to express our inner-most emotions and thoughts for the sake of our well-being. As such moments accumulate, we find ourselves approaching a state of self-implosion, consumed by the dark concoction of our emotions and thoughts that over-time combust into the emptiness that we will find ourselves greatly struggling to retract from. NuLife had given support to an elderly lady who was brought down from India to Singapore over concerns from her loved ones who were at a loss over the diagnosis of her psychological condition and the debilitating impact it had on her overall well-being.

 

As a result of adverse life events coupled with a family psychiatric history, the client found herself living in a state of perpetual despair and had cascaded into someone that her loved ones struggled to understand. Riddled with uncertainty and a lack of understanding, the client’s loved ones had initially interpreted her actions as a means of seeking for attention. However, when these actions had persisted and aggravated her daily functioning, the client’s loved ones begun to realise the severity of her condition and engaged in a search for interventions that aimed to bring the client back to her normal self.

 

Not knowing how to navigate along this route of emotional implosion and not receiving the needed support from her loved ones, the client found herself withstanding various pharmacological, psychological and alternative interventions as a means for remedy. However, these various forms of interventions had in the process diminished her cerebral capacity, leaving her more vulnerable than ever to psychological afflictions.

 

It was hence essential that emotional rapport was first established in the series of support intervention that was put in place for the client. Once rapport was built with the emotionally despondent client, the counsellors had guided the client and her family as she underwent the relevant examinations in Singapore to evaluate her psychiatric condition and interventions best suited to the condition. Following this, much research was undertaken by the counsellors to better understand the client’s diagnosed psychiatric condition and what were the measures the client and her loved ones could take moving forth for the preservation of her well-being. Equipped with the relevant knowledge pertaining to the care of the client, her loved ones made an effort to move away from the unconventional approach they had adopted all along and move towards cultivating a more embracing approach in conserving her well-being.

 

When one is diagnosed with a psychiatric condition, it fundamentally changes the way one thinks, feels and even acts in aspects of everyday living. It is important that during this period of turbulence, an ecosystem of support is established in order to ameliorate the effects associated with such conditions.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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We humans exist at our very best when we are connected with other humans, especially ones that we love and adore and feel connected to. The needs for human connection, intimacy, love, and validation are primal. They can be ignored, pushed down, or denied, but they will never disappear. These needs are so important, that if they remain unmet for too long, they will create a tear in the relationship wide enough for someone else to walk through and claim the opportunity to meet those needs that more often than not results in the occurrence of rifts that are beyond repair.

 

NuLife had provided support to an expecting mother who was battered by the repercussions of a momentary lapse in judgement that had made her reach out to another for intimacy and support for a brief period of time during the initial stages of her marriage. Expecting a child after many years in the marriage and riddled with guilt and remorse the client decided it was best to confess to her spouse the blunder that she had committed before embarking on their roles as first time parents. Devastated by the act of betrayal that had called everything in the marriage into question, the spouse had lashed out on the client to the extent that it threatened to crumble her relationship with her loved ones at a time when she wholly needed their support. When the colossal after-effects could no longer be contained nor compromised in spite of the client’s endeavours for reconciliation for the sake of the unborn child, it was decided that the marriage was no longer worth holding on to.

 

Adopting a multi-pronged approach, the client was provided with support that firstly aimed to explore her views on the state of her marriage and moving forth what were the measures she could take to protect her and her unborn child’s best interests. Following after, NuLife had reached out to her spouse in order to reach an accord that would take into account the conservation of the client and the unborn child’s wellbeing in light of the footing the client is bound to lose as she single-handedly nurses to and her new-born’s needs.

 

Moving forth, the couple will lead their own separate lives while they recover from the losses that resulted from their marriage. The client will continue to be armed with emotional support as she learns to embrace the accommodations she will be subjected to as a first-time mother and with limited support from the father of the child. Counselling will focus on equipping the client with a sense of empowerment through this journey of motherhood that would ultimately allow the client to progress forth with a sense of dignity and purpose.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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As human beings, we are wired to seek out connections with other like-minded individuals and the greatest kind of connection is the one where we fall in love and commit our lives to one another. However, in the process of commitment, we find ourselves submerged in a blend of events, situations and circumstances that threaten to crumble the essence of the commitment that we had vowed to hold on to. The dissolution of such commitments is almost always an unhappy event, at the very least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations.

 

NuLife had rendered its assistance to a Permanent Resident who was drained from years back and forth of a marriage that had become woven with feelings of confusion, false hopes, guilt and holding on for the wrong reasons. In spite of leading separate lives, the client and her spouse found themselves holding on to the marriage in order to preserve their individual interests. As a Malaysian citizen under the sponsorship of her spouse, the client feared dissolving the marriage would risk her livelihood in Singapore. While the client’s spouse had wished to hold on to the matrimonial home given that it has been his only source of asset. However, when it was realised that in the process of securing a certain set of interests, they were compromising other aspects of their lives that could only be worked upon moving forth, divorce proceedings were initiated by the client’s spouse. Unfurnished with the workings of the Singapore family law, the client felt it was best to seek the assistance of NuLife in amicably settling the divorce proceedings and ensuring her well-being was taken into account during this entire process.

 

Adopting a two-fold approach, the client was bolstered with emotional support in the form of counselling while mediation efforts were initiated by establishing contact with the client’s spouse to ensure that her interests were taken into consideration in the process of amicably settling divorce and ancillary matters. Additional efforts were also undertaken with NuLife appointing and working hand in hand with an in-house estate agent from conducting the sales of the matrimonial flat to ensuring that the sold flat was kept in a pristine condition for the handover. As an active mediator, NuLife ensured that the client and her spouse were in consensus with all decisions that were made pertaining to the sales and handover of the matrimonial flat. With the legal dissolution of their marriage and settlement of ancillary matters, the client and her ex-spouse found themselves being able to move on with their respective lives with a sense of direction.

 

In the midst of such legal proceedings, it can be a struggle for couples involved to agree on a shared set of conditions that would aid in the amicability of the proceedings, amidst feelings of animosity and hurt. Hence, incorporating the assistance of a third party is much pertinent in resolving the potential conflicts that can arise in initiating and settling such intimate matters. As much adverse connotations a divorce can involve, it is essential that at the end of the day it is settled on favourable terms and allow those involved to move forth peacefully.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Domestic violence has started to come out of the shadows and there has been overwhelming growth and progress in the way people perceive, address and prevent this matter on a universal scale. As a culture though, we tend to remain tolerant of it, victims remain afraid to leave and loved ones remain hesitant to get involved. The repercussions that accompany such form of violence progressively affects the one being abused and its effects are reverberated in various aspects of the abused life. If these repercussions are not contained and a remedy is not sought for, the damages that can occur will more often than not be far-reaching and irreparable.

 

NuLife had extended its support to a client whose well-being had taken a toll as a result of the emotional and physical abuse she was subjected to by her spouse. Feeling wounded, the client found her very essence being chipped away as her spouse continued to undermine her self-worth and her self-esteem. At the receiving end of a marriage that had brought her much torment and misery, the client decided that it was best to end the marriage which had resulted in a series of vengeful acts perpetrated by the spouse that heavily compromised her stability and security while residing at their joint apartment.

 

At a loss, the client had turned to NuLife for assistance and support to ensure that her divorce matters were settled amicably. Adopting a dichotomized approach, the client was provided with assistance as she armed herself with the needed and available resources to safeguard her interests in the process of the divorce proceedings. Concurrently, the client was provided with emotional support as she traced the origins of the physical and emotional abuse that she was subjected to and the factors that persisted and contributed to the current abuse she was undergoing with her spouse. Counselling had urged the client to make her mental and physical health a priority through cultivating self-care and building a support network that shaped her outlook towards life.

 

However, the client’s wellbeing had taken a turn for the worse when she was diagnosed with a chronic illness that left her feeling afflicted with a sense of hopelessness. With her ongoing divorce proceedings and recent revelation on her health, the client’s thoughts and feelings magnified, bordering on the lines of suicide ideation. Counselling had then taken on an imperative approach by continuing to bolster the client with an-all embracing support as she persevered on in the journey of rebuilding her identity and preserving her well-being amidst her illness and divorce proceedings.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Life is never a smooth-sailing journey and in such moments, uncertainties become the only certainty, creating pathways for blunders to occur. An element in life that is commonly marred by the effects of blunders is in a marriage, leading to the ultimate and unfortunately prevailing choice, that is the legal dissolution of the marriage.

 

While a divorce is the last thing any couple would ever want to go through, when it really happens, couples struggle to navigate it on amicable terms as for many the experience signifies the end of financial and emotional support and stability, the disintegration of family life, the potential sale of the family home and a frequently hurtful dialogue between both partners. If there are children involved, their hurt can be all the stronger – for children provide a constant reminder that the hope and love that created them has gone wrong.

 

NuLife had rendered its support to a client who was undergoing a tumultuous time after deciding to end her marriage and subsequently forced to depart from her family home. Feeling a sense of emptiness in her life, the client struggled to transition from the daily routine of her life as a wife and a mother and towards the daily routine of her life as woman who is living apart from her loved ones. The client’s long marriage had been marked by years of arguments and disagreements over various issues that had affected the dynamics of their relationship as husband and wife. Over time, the client came to a realisation that she had been acculturing herself to giving in to the demands of her family that she had overlooked her own wants and desires.

 

To eliminate the possible resentment and the animosity that could arise between the client and her spouse, NuLife had stepped in to ensure that the couple were able to undergo the divorce proceedings with the much-needed clarity and amicability. Taking on the role of a mediator, NuLife had referred the client to a law firm and worked hand in hand with them to ensure that the client and her spouse were able to come to a mutual agreement with regards to what they wished to attain from the divorce proceedings. The client was additionally cushioned with support and was navigated along the emotionally wearing process by being encouraged to maintain respect, source for common goals, establish a middle ground and accept a degree of responsibility that helped to alleviate the negativism that she was subjected to.

 

Albeit the prolonged period it took to settle the divorce proceedings, precedence was placed towards persevering the interests of both parties as much as possible without compromising the functional working relationship that puts their kids front and center moving forth.

 

However, the implications of initiating divorce proceedings had left a sense of foreboding in the client that made her subsequently express her intention to discontinue with the divorce proceedings which had reached the stage of Interim Judgement and go back to her family. Given that her children were embarking on the formative years of their education, the client did not wish to engage in any actions that could distract their education nor jeopardise their future. As a mother, the client had instinctively given precedence to safeguarding her children’s happiness and conclusively the love for her children had transcended all other factors in her final decision making.

 

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Victim of Violence

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In one way or another, we might have inflicted pain on others inadvertently or unintentionally. However, when one chooses to intentionally cause hurt or harm to another individual, it brings to question their character. More often than not, it has been theorised that such people behave maliciously as a defence against perceived hostility or anticipated injury. However, there also remains other factors such as the need to punish, the need to feel powerful, the need to take advantage or simply for the thrill of it.

 

NuLife had reached out to a client who was a victim of grievous hurt by a group of men whom she had no affiliations with. Under the influence of alcohol, a common body language was interpreted under the grounds of aggravation and had evoked the act of causing hurt to an innocent individual.

 

Emotional support was immediately provided to the client who had not only sustained severe physical injuries, but was also tormented with emotional pain for being subjected to such treatment. Having previously experienced a deterioration in her mental health, it was necessary to reinforce a support network for the client who is highly susceptible to falling back to a state of despair and hopelessness. In addition, the client was not living in a favourable environment and was struggling to cope financially. Being physically hurt had only increased the financial strain of the client.

 

In light of the client’s financial circumstances, NuLife had sourced for a pool of amount to be allocated for the proper medical treatment of the client. Also, in consideration of the intentional harm that was caused to the client, NuLife had advocated the client’s rights as a citizen for the fair judgement of her assault case. It was crucial that client was armed with resilience and was provided with the support to overcome the traumatic incident and be able to set forth with an optimistic and confident mindset.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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In a society that is marked with life demands that can seem battering at times and with outside influences that are in a constant flux, home, hearth and family are expected to remain steady – a serene and sheltering haven. Yet within the walls of this sacred territory, we can find ourselves exposed to the very dangers that we painstakingly avoid beyond the boundaries of our home. One such danger is family violence and though not uncommon, possibly because of the very fact that families spend so much time together and have so many emotional ties and therefore potential emotional stressors, yet for these same reasons, and because our family impacts our potential as human beings so fundamentally, may result in long-lasting effects that are detrimental to those who suffer in silence.

 

NuLife had provided support to a mother and her 4 children who were trapped in a never-ending cycle of emotional and physical abuse that had affected their functioning as a household and as a family unit. An all-encompassing approach was adopted in order to firstly overcome the adversities that were propelled in the family’s path. As their safety was threatened, a Personal Protection Order (PPO) was foremostly taken and successfully attained with NuLife’s guidance. Concurrently, counsellors were assigned to each family member for emotional support as they learned to navigate their way during this challenging period of time. As the recuperating members moved towards restabilising the family unit, they were loaded with the relevant support, comprising of food rations assistance, educational assistance and financial assistance. Armed with both physical and emotional resources in the interim period, the family members were able to dissociate themselves from that pain that had become deeply entrenched as a result of being subjected to it by a loved one. Gradually, the family was able to forge ahead with a renewed sense of determination that had resonated in their daily living.

 

A projected symbol of love and harmony, our homes and families buffer us from the antagonistic conditions that we come across and are susceptible to in the outer world. When our homes and families fail to function as our refuge, we find that the repercussions that accompany spreading and damaging various aspects of our lives. Individuals who grow in a nurtured home and are provided with support from their loved ones find themselves leading a more enriching and fulfilling life.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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The home is typically considered a space of love, safety and togetherness. However, in moments of challenges and difficulties, we find not only ourselves but also our surroundings morphing into a site of painful, unpleasant and distressing moments. Domestic abuse often begins and occurs in intimate spaces such as our homes. It showcases the exercise of one partner’s power and control in intimate relationships that erodes the other partner’s sense of self, interfering with every facet of their life that in turn impacts their well-being. Even though an abuser’s outburst is commonly followed by remorse and apology, this stage is usually short-lived and ends up back in violence and abuse, causing the one being abused to constantly live in a cycle of fear. Over time, the abused ends up feeling they have little control over their lives and in many occasions, they go on to accept their circumstances than to combat it.

 

NuLife had rendered its support to a middle-aged lady who was subjected to abuse from her spouse over a significant number of years. Subjected to conflicts from his surroundings, the spouse resorting to channelling his suppressed emotions by berating and mistreating his wife. Despite the toll the abuse had taken on her well-being, the client cohered to the marriage for the sake of her children whom she felt could not be subjected to any losses that could be detrimental to their development. However, as she grew older, she found herself no longer being able to withstand the effects of the abuse. NuLife had encouraged the client to apply for a Personal Protection Order (PPO) against her spouse and support her application with documents that would ensure the security of the order. Riddled with uncertainty, the client feared that choosing to end her abusive relationship, would mean losing everything tangible that she has invested into the marriage and her family unit. The client was attached to counsellors for emotional support during this period of ambivalence in her life. Counselling worked towards crystallising the network of support that was put in place for the client that had served to protect her interests as a wife and mother.

 

Geared with the relevant support and resources, the client was able to successfully attain a PPO. Counselling had continued to support the client by propelling her towards a journey of self-healing, self-compassion and reflection that ultimately solidified her purpose in life.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Sheltered within the confines of our mother’s womb for a period of nine months, we are propelled towards the horizons of the outside world, where we embark on our life journey. This journey often begins from our homes, paving the way to how we navigate along the various stages of development over the course of our lives. When we develop in a safe and secure home, we become accustomed to a sense of routine and stability, buffering us from the negativities that we are susceptible to from the outside world that in the process nurtures us to be more resilient individuals. However, not all of us are fortunate to experience growing in a home of comfort, help and support. Children who are exposed to family violence from a young age constitute a sample of individuals who are bound to face many challenges and risks that have long-lasting effects on their wellbeing.

 

NuLife reached out to a client who had been weathering the effects of being exposed to family violence as she matured from a teenager to a young adult. Forced to grow up quickly, the client acclimatized to fending for her mother who was often the victim of violence in the household. In the process of protecting her loved one, the client carried along feelings of stress and anxiety that had seeped into other aspects of her life, affecting her impetus in her further education and consequently impeding her aspirations in unlocking greater milestones in her work life. Furthermore, amidst the experiences the client was subjected to, her beliefs revolving around companionship and marriage had faltered progressively, preventing her from moving forth to the next chapter of her life.

 

While NuLife worked to safeguard the interests of the traumatised mother, measures were also taken to safeguard the interests of the daughter who was a casualty of the ongoing violence in the household. Counselling aimed to recondition the client’s belief system by bolstering her self-esteem and softening her outlook towards life concepts such as marriage and family. While the client worked towards completing her further education and supporting her mother during the period of assistance, NuLife ensured that the client was provided with the much-needed emotional support and guidance that empowered her to tread over her set of adversities.

 

Being subjected to abuse to or witnessing abuse in the very environment one nurtures in, places one at great risk as he or she becomes habituated to promoting violence as a way of solving problems, thereby repeating the cycle of abuse in future families. It is hence pertinent that we are equipped with the ways in which we can safeguard our and our loved ones interests. By learning to speak up constructively and knowing our rights, we can put an end to the recurring nature of family violence.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Elderly (Pioneer Generation)

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Our memories characterise our past, present and future. Our memories shape the construction of our identity, our beliefs and our values. It enables one to know who they are as a person and for better or worse, our memories form a pretty good guide as to how one will evolve over time. Our memory is our coherence, our reason, our feeling, even our action and to lose such an essential component of our cognitive ability would signify losing a basic connection with who we are. As much as we want to cherish our memories for a lifetime, there comes a point of time, often, when the individual has reached late adulthood, that one’s memories are subjected to degeneration which gives way to the development of old-age related illnesses such as dementia.

 

Dementia symbolises the gradual breakdown in substance and function of the human brain which in turn leads to a gradual decline of several cognitive functions of the human body.  Memory, language, and motor control eventually slip away until a person finally sinks into silence and immobility. The onset of dementia generates a great deal of fear and concern for all those involved. There are fears and concerns for the individual who gradually realises that a deterioration is occurring; for family members or significant others especially those who become primary caregivers.

 

NuLife had reached out to an elderly who was diagnosed with dementia and her daughter who was placed under anguish coming to terms and dealing with her mother’s condition by providing them with emotional support. Rather than working to address the problems with a client whose cognitive abilities were compromised, emotional support in the form of counselling focused more on decelerating the declines associated with dementia and to encourage the client to engage in activities that would preserve her memories as much as possible.

 

While, counselling for the daughter had focused on addressing the concerns that she would have as the primary caregiver for her mother and equipping her with coping strategies in order to effectively deal with her mother’s condition. In times of hardship, support from loved ones is crucial in surmounting the hardship. Hence, it was pertinent that a complementary approach was implemented for the mother-daughter duo so as to ensure that their relationship would continue to thrive under such circumstances and ultimately learn to cope and adjust accordingly as a family over the course of the illness.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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The meaning of being a mother is virtually endless. A mother acts selflessly and always in the best interests of her children, sacrificing many of her wants and needs for the wants and needs of her children. A mother works hard to make sure her children are equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to become competent individuals as they mature. It is hence disheartening when a mother despite giving her all, helplessly watches her children become casualties to extraneous circumstances that they are subjected to over their life course.

 

NuLife had extended its support to a middle-aged mother who was being subjected to physical and emotional abuse by her son who was lashing out on the grounds of intoxication. The son in his inebriated state had on several occasions threatened the safety of the client should she refuse to supplement his habits of intoxication. Confounded by the fear of her wellbeing on one hand and the sentiments she held towards her son on the other hand, NuLife had emboldened the client to take the necessary measures to safeguard her wellbeing that was of precedence. The client was accompanied to the family court by a NuLife counsellor and had filed for a Personal Protection Order (PPO) which was successfully granted to her over time. Through gaining a personal protection order, the client was able to assure her role as a mother and ensure that her role under no circumstances is to be taken advantage of regardless of the conditions she might be subjected to as she ages.

 

As one ages, one becomes the accumulation of a life’s worth of wisdom and experience. Unfortunately, the price of that wisdom is too often an increased vulnerability by other means. In order to prevent one from becoming imposed to such moments of susceptibility one would encounter as they age, it is pertinent that one is enlightened on the avenues that would bolster one’s wellbeing during such moments.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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In the course of our lives, we might find ourselves being subjected to circumstances that leaves us feeling victimised if not physically, then emotionally. At some point in time, we inadvertently become victims to life challenges and difficulties and we acknowledge the suffering and feelings of powerlessness that accompany such experiences. However, all too often, we give away our power to these circumstances and situations. We act as though it’s a foregone conclusion that we will feel a certain way, based on specific circumstances and over time, we find ourselves falling back on such feelings regardless of our present circumstances.

 

NuLife had given support to an elderly lady who was grappling with the circumstances she was placed under. From the beginnings of a troubled marriage that had led to the physical and emotional maltreatment of the client to the deterioration of the client’s physical health that had impaired her functioning, the client found herself a victim to the adversities ongoing in her life. To tackle these adversities, the client had reached out to the relevant organisations and was rendered social assistance for a stipulated period of time. This had resulted in the client becoming overly reliant on social assistance to counter the insecurity and vulnerability she experienced. Over time, she had grown accustomed to being permanently dependent on ‘handouts’ and lost any inclination to improve her living conditions when her social assistance was on the verge of diminishment.

 

Counselling had served to address the lack of motivation the client faced to overcome the adversities that had developed as result of the circumstances she was placed under. The client was enlightened on the nature of social assistance and the approaches she could take in order to receive assistance on a long-term basis. At the same time, counselling had aimed to equip the client with concepts of empowerment and self-reliance that would in the long run mould her to be a self-sufficient and motivated individual who is capable of tackling adversities through her own efforts.

 

When we are led into lives of dependence and passivity, we often find ourselves with insufficient incentive to make the most of our innate potential. Therefore, it is critical that we learn to minimise the feelings of over-reliance that often accompany us when we find ourselves being held captive to our circumstances. Adversities can be conquered when an autonomous and determined outlook towards life is cultivated.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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The role of a caregiver, be it a role that one voluntarily takes on, or a role that has been thrust upon one, can at times be overwhelming and lead to the neglect of the caregiver’s emotional, physical and spiritual health. These aspects of welfare if discounted can over time lead to feelings of fatigue and hopelessness otherwise known as caregiver burnout. Caregivers when overstretched find themselves exhibiting symptoms similar to the individuals they are caring for such as irritability, loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy, social withdrawal, poor appetite and sleep difficulties. In a state of burnout, a previously positive and loving caregiver may become negative and uncaring as they undergo an internal dilemma with the feelings they bury in the process of satisfactorily meeting the needs of their loved ones.

 

NuLife had reached out to a male elderly who was rattled with his wife’s debilitating physical and emotional well-being and by taking upon the role of being her caregiver had in the process experienced feelings of guilt, anger and self-doubt that had undermined his ability to continue caring for his wife. Only wanting the best for his wife, the client had worked towards providing quality care for her which along the way had heightened his expectations revolving around her recovery. However, in search of the various treatments in the hopes of curing his wife’s overall well-being, the client had shielded himself from the very underlying nature of the disorder that had affected his wife; that the treatments in store would only alleviate and not fix her present condition. When his wife’s symptoms progressively worsened, the client found himself riddled by anger and self-doubt which he had ended up projecting towards those around him.

 

The client was equipped with emotional support where counsellors had first worked on disintegrating the emotional barrier that the client had formed in the process of caregiving. When rapport was strongly established, counselling had then worked towards addressing strategies that the client could take in order to alleviate the strains he felt as a caregiver. These strains which had manifested in the form of guilt, anger and self-doubt were individually evaluated with the client firstly coming to terms with these emotions and discussing strategies that can be undertaken to eliminate such negative and critical feelings.  The client was made to set pragmatic goals, accept his own limitations and allow others to assume some responsibility for the care of his wife. Through this journey of self-reflection, the client realised that he had felt obligated to take on the role of a caregiver for his wife and when he was not able to oblige effectively, it had given rise to thoughts that had incapacitated his emotional functioning.

 

It is vital that caregivers set realistic goals in executing their role towards their loved ones who are in need of care. As a caregiver, one should educate themselves about the complexities present in their loved one’s illness and the relevant treatments or care available. Additionally, the caregiver should adopt self-care in order to combat the stressors he or she would be subjected to in the journey of caregiving. A caregiver armed with the right resources and support would be resilient in managing and tending to the needs of the loved one that is dependent on them.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Adolescent

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From young, we grow accustomed to the interactions encompassing us. We observe the way others communicate with one another, the way others express their feelings towards one another and in turn interpret the way we should communicate and express ourselves to others. Predominantly, these interpretations stem from the way we observe our family members assert their roles, objectively and subjectively which more often than not establishes the way we form attachments to individuals that we meet over the course of our lives.  When an individual grows up not receiving validation nor attention to their feelings and thoughts, it gives rise to a negative sense of self that is channelled in the form of self-guilt, self-anger, self-doubt and a sense of being deeply and personally flawed. Such individuals mature, learning that their needs are not important and that their feelings don’t matter. NuLife had given support in the form of counselling to a teenager who was feeling emotionally neglected as a result of being subjected to different parenting styles from her separated parents. Feeling adrift, the client found herself struggling to accommodate to the different upbringings and with no proper guidance found not being able to express herself, resulting in the confinement of her thoughts and feelings and eventually feeling unloved and unwanted. A progressive approach was adopted in order to establish rapport with the client who had become familiarised with being emotionally distant. Once rapport was established, the client was made to develop a positive sense of self that was vital in overcoming the negative sense of self that was shaped from young. In the long run, it is important the client recognises and accepts that her emotional needs deserve to be met and learns to nourish herself with self-care. When children are loved and treated well, they don’t grow up wanting to hurt others; they grow up wanting to help and respect others, and with the ability to provide empathy, an essential characteristic.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Adolescence comes across as a period of uncertainty and often sets the stage for the way an individual would evolve into adulthood. Adolescence is also a period of time where an individual becomes exposed to challenges that compels them to think more on their feet and to confront such challenges. Adolescents of today, also known as “millennials” are much presumed to be individuals who are unable to withstand pressure and work hard as a result of overprotective parenting and a sheltered environment and this of course has consequences. It is thus, common for adolescents of today to cave in to pressures and resort to ways of coping that are often detrimental to their well-being.  Self-harm behaviour materialises as one way of coping and is often employed as a response to overwhelming emotional pain revolving around the societal pressures that an adolescent is subjected to. In the face of unbearable pain, it allows one to exert control and can help one feel relieved, albeit, momentarily. After which, they end up feeling worse as a result of the guilt and shame they feel from resorting to such behaviour. NuLife had given support to an adolescent client who had resorted to self-harm behaviour in order to deal with the multiple pressures she was facing at her age. Through counselling, the roots of the client’s self-harm behaviour were explored and she was made to gain some insight of the triggers that led to incidents of self-harm behaviour. As a form of prevention, changes were made to the environment the client was residing in, a support system was built in place for the client, the client was made to challenge the negative thoughts that led to her self-harm behaviour and to seek for self-harm alternatives that can take the place of self-harm. Overtime, counselling serves to aid in the development of a resilient self that would enable the client to better cope with hardships in the future.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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As social beings, the capacity to form and maintain relationships is essential to us and how we function within society. It is a key component to being introspectively healthy, and gaining a positive sense of wellbeing. Relationships are hence important on so many levels, and across the life course. The key to sustaining relationships essentially lies in the evolution of an individual’s attachment mechanisms. If an individual is able to establish a secure attachment with their caregiver from young, this would pave the way to the formation and maintenance of positive relationships that would aid in the development of a positive self. A securely attached individual is better able to manage their own feelings and behaviours and is better able to relate to others. On the contrary, if an individual fails to establish a secure attachment with their caregiver from young, this might result in the development of a negative sense of self which sets the stage for disorderly behaviour and increases one’s susceptibility towards emotional mishaps. The type of an attachment an individual develops is foremost influenced by the quality of parenting and of the relationship between parents, whether they are together or apart and has a major impact on an individual’s advancement over the life course.

 

NuLife had rendered it’s support to an adolescent who was referred by his mother over concerns of refusing to attend school and harbouring suicide ideation. The client was furnished with emotional support that was directed at identifying the sources that contributed to his refusal towards school attendance and triggers that contributed to his suicide ideation. This had led to the discovery of underlying issues of attachment that was primarily brought about by the separation of the client’s parents which created a sense of detachment and it’s effects had radiated into various aspects of the client’s wellbeing. The inability to establish a secure attachment from young had resulted in the client struggling to form healthy relationships with others and to effectively cope with his emotions and thoughts which had given rise to the client aggressively conveying his attachment needs through his presenting issues. Over time this had resulted in the emotional meltdown of the client that had projected through heightened anxiety and discomfort. In need of clinical professional assistance, NuLife had reached out to the client’s mother that prompted her to take a vigilant approach by bringing her son down to the hospital and being by his side while the relevant intervention was administered. With the client’s psychological challenges being tended to by the relevant expertise, counselling had concentrated on empowering the client to break free from the cycle of unhealthy attachments and equip the client with skills that would enable him to develop secure attachments with others moving forth.

 

In the process of creating a coherent narrative and forming more secure attachments, the client was able to develop a sense of inner security which provided an avenue for him to discover his true self and experience his relationships in a healthier light.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Adolescence, a vital stage of growth and development, marks the period of transition from childhood to adulthood. As adolescents undergo this stage, they experience a series of developments that gives way to conflicting themes in the form of abstract and independent thinking versus experimentation and risk taking. Adolescence is thus a turning point in one’s life, a period of increased potential and at the same time, one of greater vulnerability. The way in which adolescents choose to thread along this stage is very much dependent on a host of factors that include their personality, psychosocial support from the environment and the life skills that they possess. Adolescents of today find themselves compelled to smoothly transition to adulthood in anticipation of societal demands. Even though it has been widely acknowledged that adhering to such expectations can be detrimental in the last stages of the development of an adolescent and avenues have been provided for these group of individuals to work towards achieving more resilient modes of transition into adulthood, adolescents continue to struggle to practice competency following adulthood.

 

NuLife had provided support to an adolescent who was referred by his mother over concerns of the development of his soft skills and his lack of maturity and responsibility. In an attempt to reach out to the client, support was crystallised in the form of mentoring and the sessions were conducted on a weekly basis. Mentoring had focused on addressing the essential aspects that were found to be lacking in the client and equipping the client with life skills in the aim of empowering him to act responsibly and to take initiative and control. By adopting a concerted approach in the form of mentoring, the client was able to identify and acknowledge his shortcomings and was able to work towards honing his skills that would enable him to become a more competent individual and to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life.

 

The cultivation of life skills in the form of psychosocial competencies and interpersonal skills is essential as it allows one to think critically, make informed decisions, communicate effectively, build healthy relationships, empathise with others and cope with managing one’s life in a healthy and productive manner. Apart from addressing the emotional needs of an adolescent, it is important to arm adolescents with the required set of skills that would allow them to successfully transition into adulthood and attain self-sufficiency in the process, a trait that is very much needed as the adolescent navigates the later stages of life.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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In the initial stages of our development, we find our world revolving around our loved ones, particularly our family. Our family very often sets the foundation as to how we evolve across the life course and when we become witnesses to events that threaten to crumble the very foundations, we became reliant on, we find ourselves encompassed in a world of ambiguity and dubiety that withholds us from attaining principles that are required in the later stages of our lives. An adverse yet common life event that children are subjected to these days is witnessing the separation of their parents. While such life events are often perceived to have short-term effects on the child, the truth is these effects are much more massive, affecting the way the child grows in an environment that is devoid with the love and support of a nuclear family.

 

NuLife had extended its support to a pre-teen who was grappling to cope with the after-effects of her parent’s divorce. Even though she was aware that her parents were not on good terms, she was never prepared for the finality of the way her parent’s relationship and her relationship with her parents would turn out to be. Caught off guard emotionally, the client was not able to come to terms with the dissolution of her family unit and this had affected the various facets of her life. The client was armed with support during this period of inner turmoil in the form of counselling. Counselling had provided an avenue for the client to express and address the negative emotions that emanated from coping with her parent’s divorce. Through the incorporation of emotional self-regulation, the client was able to come to terms with her parent’s divorce and to fold its effects, in a constructive way as possible. Additionally, counselling had also worked towards improving the client’s academics which was marred by the impact that the divorce of her parents had brought about. Through mentoring, the client was equipped with techniques that enhanced her academic experience and motivated her to make the needed improvements in her academics.

 

When faced with complications at a relatively young age, the developing child is impeded from attaining a certain set of skills that would cushion them from the tribulations they will be subjected to along the life course. It is essential that the child is armed with the reserves to overcome the adversities that they have encountered at a young age which would allow them to flourish under favourable conditions and be able to effectively overcome future adversities.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of Financial Hardship

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One’s morals are greatly shaped by the observations one becomes versed to in their environment. Our morals greatly influence the decisions that we make in various aspects of our lives, be it our family, our work, our friends or our community. When we experience a breakdown in such aspects, it brings to question, foremost one’s morals or principles. We start to experience feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. We start questioning our choices and we slowly start losing faith in our ability to make decisions. We also choose to dwell on our failures and externalise them, finding it easier to avoid the roots of our failures that also stems internally. It is during such periods of ambiguity, that one must learn to uncover their failures and in the process accept their fault comings and work towards the betterment of their lives.

 

NuLife assisted a client who had experienced a financial slump due to a decision gone wrong and was having issues at her workplace as a result. Through counselling, the client was made to re-examine her principles and evaluate her life choices accordingly. The client was encouraged to pursue her life with passion and to set goals both short term and long term that would sustain her passion in all aspects of her life.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Money is an essential commodity that helps individuals to run their lives. It is one of the common indicators for determining the status of a person, given its tangibility. An individual with a colossal amount of wealth will be regarded as a reputable person in comparison to an individual who has a little amount of wealth. When individuals fall into the latter, they either choose to adapt to the state that they are in or to alter the state that they are in. A seemingly effective and accessible channel would be to seek for alternative financial sources in the form of borrowing. In the beginning, borrowing might seem like a remedy for financial issues. However, given the entangling nature of financial issues and without identifying the source that give rise to such issues, it will continue to persist and eventually one resorts to borrowing routinely. Borrowing evolves into something essential and without it, would signify the collapse of the individual, financially and emotionally. Borrowing continuously also signifies the never-ending financial problems of the individual and it is the emerging dependency that contributes to the eventual collapse of the individual. NuLife had reached out to a family of four that had reached a crisis point with regards to their financial issues. Entrapped in complications and not being able to seek a permanent solution, the family had lost all hope and were on the verge of despondence. Through active casework and counselling, the family of four were made to identify the source of their financial problems and the necessary measures were carried out to eliminate the source. A reconciliatory approach was taken in order for the family to receive the much-needed financial support from their extended family. With the rendering of financial support, the family was able to settle their outstanding amounts and put an end to their borrowing. NuLife will continue to provide emotional support and enrich the family on better financial management through counselling. It is important that the family is equipped with the necessary skills that would enable them to take control of their finances. This would allow the family to regain financial stability and be no longer dependent on seeking for alternative sources to sustain their finances.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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We are trained to distinguish right from wrong at an early age with the aid of the environment and the interactions that encompass it. The extent to which one is able to cultivate this particular aspect of moral reasoning is subjected to the kind of parenting that one is exposed to and the traits that one have been intrinsically provided with. In our idealistically natured society, terms such as hard work and honesty are often regarded as right while terms such as struggles and errors are often frowned upon and regarded as wrong. However, as we undergo the different stages of development and cope with the challenges associated with it, we cannot help but experience deviations that we have been trained to identify as wrong and stay away from. In the encounter of such deviations, we tend to stow away our moral reasoning and give precedence to these deviations in making decisions that sets us up for failure that if avoided in the first place, will save one from a whole load of agony and misdirection.

 

NuLife had yielded it’s support to a mother who had resorted to committing a violation at her workplace as a result of the circumstances she was placed in and was grappling with the aftermath of it. Dejected by her actions and filled with much remorse, the client had tried to mitigate the damage done, but to much avail found herself buried in even deeper consequences. Through counselling, the client was made to come to terms with her situation and to acknowledge her wrongdoing. After which, a cognitive behavioural approach was utilised for the client who was plagued by the multiple stressors in her life and was in need of assurance and redemption. Overtime, the aim of counselling was to get the client to work on her presenting issues and to equip the client with an internal locus of control, that would allow her to believe that she can influence the events in her life and the outcomes associated with it rather than projecting her control to outside forces.

 

While acting in error can have immediate detrimental effects, rather than ruminating on the effects of our errors, it is more practical that we work on acknowledging and learning from our errors that can play an equally positive role in the long term.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Physical places endure while memories and people fade. Given the enduring nature of physical places, we oftentimes find ourselves rooted to such places that help us keep alive some of the strongest sources of what has given our lives meaning, well-being and happiness. A common yet significant space that we can all resonate with is our homes. A home serves a plethora of purposes, ultimately providing us a with a centering – a dwelling from which we depart each morning for productivity purposes and to which we return each evening for restorative purposes. Most of us spend a significant amount of time growing in homes that have been ingrained with a set of beliefs and values that evoke a sense of warmth and assurance. Albeit a physical space, when we lose this sense of grounding, we find ourselves wandering along the cracks of confusion and instability in search of security and belonging.

 

NuLife was alerted to a couple comprising of a Singaporean man and his wife, a Filipino National who have been struggling to secure a dwelling of their own since their marriage days. With no place to call their own, the couple found themselves having to be overly dependent on alternative sources of accommodation over the years. However, as the couple were simultaneously plagued with financial concerns, it had resulted in them resorting to living apart, with the wife residing back in her hometown at Philippines and with the husband residing with his relative in a 1-room rental flat in Singapore in an attempt to alleviate their financial concerns. Concurrently, the family unit had also expanded over time to include a toddler and a new-born.  It was hence vital that the family be able to secure an accommodation of their own in order to ensure that their children are able to grow in a nourishing environment in their early stages of development.

 

A pragmatic approach was put in place to ensure that the couple were able to work towards securing a permanent dwelling in the long run. Counsellors were attached to the couple to better understand their plight and provide the relevant support amidst their troubles of stability. After gaining a comprehensive picture, the couple’s plight was highlighted to the Housing & Development Board (HDB) and an appeal was made to render the couple the needed assistance during this arduous period of time. The appeal was taken into consideration and arrangements were made by the organisation to directly follow up with the client on housing matters. In the midst of working around this matter, the counsellors had also worked on addressing other aspects that the couple would need to work on in order to solidify the stability and wellbeing of their family unit. The counsellors had further enlightened the couple on the approaches they could take in order to achieve emotional and financial stability in the long run which would aid in the cohesion of their family unit and in the achievement of a fulfilling life as parents.

 

A home that is stable and all-embracing would only serve to enrich the memories and experiences of the household.  Families who grow up in such homes find themselves more resistant to the trials and tribulations of life.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Caregiver

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Bred in a community that is contingent on the expectations, demands and wishes of those surrounding us, we are bound to be subjected to moments along the course of our lives, where we hold ourselves back when we should have known how to express our inner-most emotions and thoughts for the sake of our well-being. As such moments accumulate, we find ourselves approaching a state of self-implosion, consumed by the dark concoction of our emotions and thoughts that over-time combust into the emptiness that we will find ourselves greatly struggling to retract from. NuLife had given support to an elderly lady who was brought down from India to Singapore over concerns from her loved ones who were at a loss over the diagnosis of her psychological condition and the debilitating impact it had on her overall well-being.

 

As a result of adverse life events coupled with a family psychiatric history, the client found herself living in a state of perpetual despair and had cascaded into someone that her loved ones struggled to understand. Riddled with uncertainty and a lack of understanding, the client’s loved ones had initially interpreted her actions as a means of seeking for attention. However, when these actions had persisted and aggravated her daily functioning, the client’s loved ones begun to realise the severity of her condition and engaged in a search for interventions that aimed to bring the client back to her normal self.

 

Not knowing how to navigate along this route of emotional implosion and not receiving the needed support from her loved ones, the client found herself withstanding various pharmacological, psychological and alternative interventions as a means for remedy. However, these various forms of interventions had in the process diminished her cerebral capacity, leaving her more vulnerable than ever to psychological afflictions.

 

It was hence essential that emotional rapport was first established in the series of support intervention that was put in place for the client. Once rapport was built with the emotionally despondent client, the counsellors had guided the client and her family as she underwent the relevant examinations in Singapore to evaluate her psychiatric condition and interventions best suited to the condition. Following this, much research was undertaken by the counsellors to better understand the client’s diagnosed psychiatric condition and what were the measures the client and her loved ones could take moving forth for the preservation of her well-being. Equipped with the relevant knowledge pertaining to the care of the client, her loved ones made an effort to move away from the unconventional approach they had adopted all along and move towards cultivating a more embracing approach in conserving her well-being.

 

When one is diagnosed with a psychiatric condition, it fundamentally changes the way one thinks, feels and even acts in aspects of everyday living. It is important that during this period of turbulence, an ecosystem of support is established in order to ameliorate the effects associated with such conditions.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Insecure

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As humans, we have been ingrained from young to form relationships with various individuals throughout the stages of our lives. We begin forging a relationship with our family and branch out to forge relationships with individuals in various settings as we gradually age. There comes a point of time when the strength of the relationship is tested in the form of misunderstanding and the way such misunderstandings are solved is very much dependent on the way we deal with it. When we choose to deal with misunderstandings by avoiding it, we essentially end up suppressing our emotions and such an effect ends up trickling into other elements of our lives and often surface as anxiety or anger.

 

NuLife had assisted a client who was struggling to cope with the aftermath of ending a relationship with a loved one as a result of her tendency to avoid conflicts. This had subsequently affected the way the client had functioned in other areas of her life to the extent the client no longer felt motivated to carry on functioning. Through counselling, the client was made aware that learning to deal with conflict is a chance for change and growth. The client was made to gain invaluable insights into her own character by exploring the manifestations of her conflict avoidance which revealed her underlying anger and her inability to suppress it.

 

Anger management techniques were exercised that taught the client to learn to assert herself, expressing her feelings calmly and directly without becoming emotionally charged. Eventually, coming to terms with one’s fault comings and overcoming it through self-healing and self-reflection will allow the client to mend relationships that have been impaired as a result of her anger and tendency to avoid confrontations. Healthy relationships are a vital component of one’s wellbeing and it is important to address any issues that might have a negative impact on relationships.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Inherently, humans have grown to understand the world through stories: We create a past, present and future and navigate our world through this cognitive structuring. When living in a healthy backdrop, we generally tend to feel grounded in terms of having a good sense of where we are and where we stand and where we are heading. However, when the adverse happens, we find ourselves plunging into an abyss, resigned to our circumstances and losing sight of our navigation. During times like these, when we try to move on from an unfinished chapter in our lives, we find it hard to move forth without fully understanding the reasons for closure even though at times, we may not have necessarily received it.

 

NuLife had assisted a client who was in much need of emotional support and clarity after having experienced several unfinished chapters in her life. Without answers, and unable to fully receive closure in her romantic relationships over the years, the client was deeply disturbed with the way her life had become which resultantly led to a poorly developed sense of self.  Through counselling, the client was made to restructure the way she viewed the unfinished chapters in the story of her life. By working on creating new associations, learning to feel complete on her own through attaining emotional independence and working to better understand herself through re-evaluating her needs, values and motivations, the client was able to reconfigure her sense of self accordingly. A person-centred approach that paved the path to self-discovery, allowed the client to gain confidence, a stronger sense of identity and to embark on building healthy interpersonal relationships and to trust the decisions she make.

 

Having a strong sense of self is vital in everyday life as it gears one to overcome the trials and tribulations of life.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime”. Essentially, teaching a person a useful skill can be more beneficial in the long run than filling a need temporarily. Yet, we find ourselves accustomed to giving rather than teaching in moments of need and while giving may be deemed as the appropriate act during such moments, we fail to realise that we are enabling the culture of dependency among those at the receiving end. When giving is prolonged and the culture of dependency widens, those giving find their generosity being taken advantage of accordingly and those receiving find themselves becoming entitled to receive accordingly.
Referred for financial assistance and support, NuLife had attended to an individual who had lacked the resources that he required to cope with his day to day concerns. Counsellors were attached to the client to better understand his situation and to determine the set of measures that can be put in place in light of his situation. Already plagued with a fragile physical and psychological health, the client was initially discovered to be solely dependent on the pay-outs he was receiving from the government in light of his retirement. However, as the sessions progressed, it was discovered that lump sums from unknown sources were deposited into the client’s bank account and withdrawn by the client on multiple occasions. Estranged from his loved ones and accustomed to guarding his own interests, the client’s behaviour and actions took an erratic turn as he found himself lashing out at the counsellors and refusing to disclose any information about himself that was required for the assessment of further financial assistance to be rendered to him. Unable to move forth, sessions were discontinued and it was decided that the client was not eligible to receive further assistance in light of the measures he took to conceal that he was receiving some form of financial support in order to receive additional financial support.

 

When given the opportunity to receive in abundance, the client found himself being drawn to the possibility of garnering more in the hopes of leading a more comfortable life during his age of retirement. When the client found his hopes being compromised in the process of attaining further financial relief, it had set off a series of adverse responses. While it is important to secure as much as in times of need, we should also keep in mind that the sources of securement should come as much as from our ability and not from the over-reliance of other individuals or organisations. The more self-reliant we are, the more empowered we will be in making the needed changes in our lives in times of hardship.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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“To err is human”. A phrase that universally defines that it is normal for people to make mistakes and yet a phrase that despite its interpretation, people struggle to be receptive towards. In the process of making mistakes, people tend to give much precedence to the unfavourable consequences associated with such mistakes and ponder on the possible choices they could have made that could have rectified the position they have been rendered to. Cemented by self-criticism and self-blame, we tend to overtime let our ruminations pervade the various aspects of our functioning, to the extent that it eviscerates our outlook towards life.

 

NuLife had reached out to a client who was berating herself for the mistakes she had committed and not being able to grow from these mistakes that impeded her from attaining emotional security and progressing in life. Subjected to criticism from her loved ones and yet bound by the love she had towards her significant other, the client had settled down with her significant other in the hopes of embarking on a fruitful married life. However, things had turned downhill when the client found her marriage threatened by the crevices of mistrust, abuse and disagreements. These crevices eventually led way to the dissolution of the marriage. Deeply troubled by her mistakes, the client reluctantly found herself going down a path of recurrence that only exacerbated her emotional and physical well-being. Additionally, the client found herself being subjected to emotional outbursts that had impaired her relationship with her loved ones. Emotional support was provided to the client through weekly counselling sessions that addressed the sources of her recurring issues which mainly stemmed from her disordered childhood. After which counselling aimed to identify sources that would enable the client to self-heal. Counselling ultimately allowed the client to embrace her challenges and enabled her to move forth with a sense of peace and restoration as she continues to meander the route of life.

 

In the course of acceptance, it is important that we let go obsessing, beating ourselves and constantly being fearful. Instead of spending all of our energy on picking away at our mistakes and allowing them to fester, learning to direct our energy towards change would allow us to successfully attain resolutions that aid in the reconstruction of our life experiences.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of the Unexpected

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In life, some circumstances are beyond the scope of our control. When we are subjected to such circumstances, the way we choose to respond is critical. Some are psychologically equipped to surmount such life challenges, while others succumb to such life challenges and let it dominate their lives. Individuals belonging in the latter often resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms that has a negative impact on their wellbeing. Such individuals eventually end up undergoing life-altering consequences. NuLife had assisted a client who developed an unhealthy way of coping as a result of her failed marriage which led to adverse consequences. Lost and disheartened, the client had resorted to substance abuse for a period of time and had ended up conceiving a child whose existence she was unaware of until the day she had given birth. As a first-time mother who had given birth to her offspring under such circumstances, she had brought the baby to NuLife’s doorsteps to seek for assistance for the registration of her new-born’s birth.

 

The client had failed to adhere to the regulations when she had suffered a relapse and had stopped reporting for her regular supervisions. Having recently given birth she was apprehensive of the outcome that she and her new-born would be subjected to should she register her child’s birth. The client feared that she might be separated from her child as a result of failing to adhere to the set of regulations. Through counselling, the client was directed to come to terms with her situation and to make the necessary changes for the betterment of her and her new-born. Even if the changes to be made might not be favourable for the client, the client was prepared to embrace the changes for her new-born. Counselling will serve to equip the client with healthy coping mechanisms and over time enlighten the client with a sense of restoration and purpose.

 

Unhealthy coping mechanisms only provide a temporary respite from reality and everyday life. Such coping mechanisms distort one’s thoughts and perceptions and prevents one from properly functioning in their daily life. In order to effectively eliminate the challenges that we face in our lives, it is important to cultivate a grounded way of managing challenges. We must learn to accept our choices, right or wrong, learn from them and grow from them.

 

The outcome was not as severe as the client had anticipated as she was reunited with her baby within 24 hours of surrendering to the authority. Additionally, interim assistance was also rendered by the organisation to the client in the form of baby essentials while the client is in the midst of stabilising her living situation.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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The challenges of life vary greatly and come in many forms. At times, we experience challenges that stun us but only momentarily, allowing us to spring back to deal with the effects that accompany such challenges given that the human mind is psychologically equipped to deal with challenges on a short-term basis. However, when challenges come along like dominos, they gradually erode the mind’s capability to cope with the effects that are often long-lasting. The human mind being subjected to challenges after challenges, becomes weary and weak, no longer being able to cope with the demands and giving in to the challenges, ultimately allowing it to exert control over one’s actions and decisions.

 

NuLife had provided assistance to a client and her family who were on the verge of being displaced from their home in light of their financial situation. Through counselling, the dynamics of the family were explored and the necessary steps were taken to resolve the multiple challenges the family was facing. NuLife had ensured that the client and her family were provided with an interim housing until the family was able to secure a permanent rental flat in a vicinity situated closer to their previous residence which NuLife had later on assisted with. After securing an interim accommodation for the family, the family’s financial difficulties were highlighted to the relevant institutions and agencies in order for assistances to be rendered to the family in need. NuLife had collaborated with the client’s workplace, the children’s respective educational institutions and the social service agencies situated in their interim and permanent vicinity to ensure that the family was getting the rightful assistance until their situation had stabilised. Apart from garnering assistance in relation to the family’s living situation and financial situation, NuLife had given support to the client and her children who had also been subjected to a vicious cycle of emotional and physical abuse from the spouse and father by empowering them to take action in the form of a Personal Protection Order. Despite the obstacles that were in the path to successfully gaining protection for the family, the family was geared to manage the challenges and over time were equipped with the skills to manage future challenges, adopt healthy emotion management and to remain united as a family and tolerate one another’s differences.

 

In times of despair, we seek support primarily from our family given that we spend a significant portion of our lives with them.  Hence, it is vital that families are able to look past their differences in the midst of challenges and learn to work together and support one another in times of need. With the right kind of support in place, one would be able to overcome any challenges presented in their way.


A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Money may make the world go around, but it can as easily turn one’s world upside down. Money is a central theme in many of our decisions, from our needs to our wants. One’s financial resources can be a source of excessive pleasure when reaped in abundance or can be a cause of extreme pain when squandered excessively. The financial position of an individual is subjected to fluctuations over the life course which makes an individual susceptible to the effects that accompanies along such fluctuations. These effects are damaging when an individual descends from a higher to a lower financial position. These effects tend to seep into every aspect of the financially affected individual’s life evoking feelings of instability and uncertainty. With the decline in one’s financial capacity comes along the paralyzing fear of not having enough and can prevent one from taking action to improve one’s situation. As one adjusts to their altered financial circumstances and struggles to adapt in accordance, it can deeply impact one’s wellbeing and relationship with their loved ones in the long run.

 

NuLife had rendered it’s assistance to a housewife who was facing a financial crunch following the disintegration of her husband’s business and had reached out to the organization pertaining to career assistance in order to sustain the family’s finances. The client was equipped with emotional support and guidance through counselling that had aimed to address the underlying emotions associated with the financial circumstances that she has been rendered to and to identify the financial options available to the client in the form of career prospects. As the client had spent her earlier years working in the childcare industry, she was determined in going back to work in that industry even though she was no longer able to cope with the demands of the industry. Through empathetic listening and repeated reflection, the client was encouraged to recount her life experiences that helped to identify key themes and ascertain where her true drive and motivation lies. This had allowed the client to work towards securing employment that would take into consideration her current competency and enable her to stabilize her financial position in the long run.

 

Being subjected to financial entanglements can bring about the fear of the future, the feeling of letting those financially dependent on you down and the feeling of letting yourself down that often compounds into feelings of hopelessness. It is important to combat financial insecurity by acknowledging it’s presence, working towards mitigating it’s effects on one’s surroundings and actively seeking for financial alternatives with the intent of achieving restoration and stability.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

The journey of Reformation

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Regret and guilt are toxic emotions that steal away the present moment. They convince us that life could have been different which compels us to hold on to a mirage that is constructed by these gut-wrenching emotions. Crippled by the why nots, the what ifs and the could have beens, we will find ourselves stuck in a never-ending cycle of self-torment that could be detrimental to our well-being.

NuLife had extended its support to an ex-convict (substance abuser) who had reached out for guidance as he found himself wanting to be freed from the regret and guilt that he amassed in light of the mistakes that he had committed and that had torn his family unit apart. With a restorative approach in mind, the client was provided with counselling that embarked on the reformation of the client in accordance to the goals that were identified and constructed during the sessions. Through the cultivation of introspection, the client was made to look inward and to delve into his past experiences and emotions in order to understand the way he was. These aspects were documented in the form of journaling that had allowed the client to attain the needed clarity. This had then spurred the client to reflect on what he needs to do right now to support himself moving forward. Finally, in the process of restoration, the client was able to move on from his guilts and regrets by choosing to forgive himself, equipping him with the sense of peace and hope that he required to reset his way of living.
Although dreadful by nature, toxic emotions such as regret and guilt serve to remind us on how we can do better upon self-examination and reflection.  It is when we examine our thoughts, our emotions and our beliefs and make peace with them that we realise such toxic emotions do not hold a place in our life. Ultimately it is not in how we transgress but in how we compensate for our misdemeanours that makes a difference.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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Our life journey is marked by a manifold of chapters that reflect the distinctive stages of our development. While we can fondly look back to our more promising chapters comprising of successes, triumphs and victories, we find ourselves struggling to draw reference from our darker chapters comprising of failures, mistakes and regrets that we rather wish remain buried. When we are not able to fully embrace all the chapters in our life journey, we might end up inadvertently holding ourselves back from unlocking certain insights that would serve to broaden and enlighten our outlook towards life.

 

NuLife had rendered its assistance and support to a male inmate who wished to integrate back into the society following his recent release. The consequences of befriending the wrong crowd and meddling with drugs had resulted in the client atoning for his wrongdoings behind bars.  While the thought of being confined from the rest of the world had emotionally overwhelmed the client, the client did not resign to his darkest hours and instead sought to elevate himself through completing his basic education at prison school. As a result of utilising the time he served towards equipping himself for the better, the client was able to secure himself an opportunity to pursue his tertiary education at a local university on a part-time basis and be recruited into the workforce that would allow him to meet his needs as a reformed individual. However, given the time he was away, the client found himself feeling disoriented as he maneuvered over the financial responsibilities of juggling his life as a student and as an employee moving forth. NuLife alleviated the pressing concerns that the client faced by guiding him on how he could utilise the resources made available in the community to support his education for the first semester. This gave the client the much-needed morale-boost to embark on the next chapter of his life.

 

As much as we wish to illuminate the chapters in our life journey and while in the process, we find ourselves veering off, it is essential that we learn from these deviations in order to make room for a fulfilling journey. After all it is not in how we transgress but in how we compensate for our misdemeanours that makes a difference. Do not let your vices of yesterday prohibit you from creating value tomorrow.

 

A case study of NULIFE Care & Counselling

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